The highs are higher and the lows are lower. If emotions were viewed in colors, our family’s have gone from pastel or maybe even Crayola to psychedelic, glow in the dark brilliant. With less than a month until I deploy, the most noticeable part is the intensity of emotions each one of us is displaying.
Earlier today a friend shared a video on Facebook of a military mom surprising her son in a leopard mascot costume during school lunch having just arrived home from deployment. It was a beautiful video and I was enjoying it – until I wasn’t. I just started crying. It only lasted less than a minute, but it happened when it normally wouldn’t.
The Family Deployment Guide that they presented to Jason and me at the mandatory deployment readiness training says:
“Stage 2: Detachment and Withdrawal. This second stage usually takes place during the last week before deployment. This is a period of heightened anxiety and conflicting emotions.”
It this goes on to offer a tip. “Remember that these emotions are normal. Be sure to take the time to talk with your loved ones about the emotions you are experiencing so that you can work through them together. “
Each of the kids presents a slightly different display of emotion. Sarah has more intense anxiety stomach aches. Elliot is on a mission to become super fit and strong. Austin is on edge and Esther ensures she knows where I am at all times.
Deep down, I knew people handled stressful situations differently, but there is nothing like a few weeks out from Mommy deploying to really showcase each individual’s unique response. For me, it has meant packing on some pounds (I eat my way through stress – even though I wish I wouldn’t). I’m also much less patient and enthusiastic. I’ve watched both Jason and me become very apathetic over the last week. You catch yourself digressing and try to snap out of it – you try to snap each other out if it – because really none of us wants to have the last few weeks be miserable.
Love is a beautiful thing. In this moment in time when everything seems so much more heightened, it is the love that our family has for one another that is most brilliant. If the sadness has to be sadder and the grumpy times more grouchier, the love that carries us through it all is that much more magnificent.
