This week I’ve learned I’m not nearly as strong as I thought I was -physically speaking. Now my mental strength – that’s carrying the day right now.
It has been an intense few days as we complete final weapons training prior to heading out. I’ve been amazed at how heavy all of this is. When you are fully dressed for battle it looks completely freaking AWESOME, but it is crazy heavy. I’m very grateful that I’m not doing this in the summer, but even still I can’t stop thinking how physically tasking this week has been.
This is one of those times in my life when I’m so very grateful to be the size of an Amazon warrior. My size is compatible to an average man and that has really benefitted me when hefting multiple sea bags at once and trying on body armor.
Now, where my muscles have been totally exhausted by the end of the day, my mind is holding up strong. There have been multiple times where I’ve thought “man someone claustrophobic would have a challenging time with this.” There is no room for low self-confidence, and plenty of need for confidence and open-minded optimism.
I’ve also had to rely on that mental strength when it comes to Facetiming home.
Jason and I have tried twice now with the kids. It is wonderful until it comes time for me to hang up. At that point all four of them break into uncontrollable sobs. It is incredibly hard on Jason as he is the one that then needs to calm them down and it just fills me with a very strong desire to reach through the computer screen and comfort my babies.
My mom told me tonight that Esther continuously asks where I am and when I’m coming home. She is afraid she’ll forget who I am and thinks Esther is worried about that as well. Sarah told me that every day the kids in her class ask about me and what I’m doing and when I’m coming home. That makes her think about me, then miss me and then get terribly sad at school.
I want to cry. But I’m not crying right now. There is a lot of armor in a situation like this.
You are making me realize perspective. I was at Iona’s NCAA party Sunday night, everyone was excited. I know you are going through final prep and first days away from your family. Before they toss the ball Thursday they will play the National Anthem to recognize service of people like you. Keep on posting.
Love you LL!!! I know you are both strong and so are those kids.
Thank you so much Joan 🙂 We have incredible love and support surrounding us.
Thanks for sharing your story, Lesley, though I especially love when you liken yourself to an Amazon. While we knew each other barely at Chinfo, I always knew you were an amazingly strong lady, whose smile kept shining even in tough times. That Amazonian strength is not a physical one for sure. The fact that you have a husband who shares in the Herculean task you now endure is testament to the parents you are and example you set. I look forward to your posts as you continue your journey.
Thanks so much Kristina! I’m so blessed in what Jason and I have as a couple and as parents. It certainly makes things so much easier when you know you have the A-team back home covering down for you. You would not be disappointed in the continuing smiles I’m bringing to this assignment as well :). Thanks so much for the support!
Lesley – Thanks for your transparency and strength! If you are not already signed up, consider participating in United Through Reading, especially for Esther.
You’re amazing!!!
Yes! I’ve already had the opportunity to do one and will get to do another one here in the next couple of days as well. I also did a few myself for the kids prior to leaving! Such a wonderful program.