A Clear Advantage

Have you ever sat and ate dinner by yourself at a local restaurant? Sometimes it can be peaceful.  You pop out your phone and catch up on what’s new with your friends lives, other times it can be downright lonely. It is Friday night and I didn’t eat by myself tonight, but Jason did.

The funny thing about deployments is that while there are so many people around you at any given time, there is still this deep sense of loneliness, for me, for Jason for our children and for the shipmates here with whom I spend my whole day.  While as a senior officer I have a room to myself at the moment, the majority of the people here are in large open rooms with 40 or so other people, bunk beds and very minimal space.  Loneliness kind of lingers all day and can creep in and overwhelm you when you least expect it.

This week is a hard week and can be extremely challenging for couples.  I heard bits and pieces from the people I’m training alongside. Issues with house emergencies, single parents with children, a spouse trying to take over the household finances, estate issues and more.  There were more than just a few stressed out cell phone conversations occurring during each short break.

I deployed with a clear advantage – my supportive, capable and loving husband – Jason. 

Every day throughout the day I smile and think how much I love him and how very blessed I am to have him as my husband.  He is cheering me on and praising me when I text him a success. He constantly reminds me that he loves me.  He shares pointers, tips and tricks to help me for the next day’s assignments. He spends 30 minutes or more calming our sobbing children down after we hang up from a Facetime call.  He brings our youngest one of my shirts when she constantly asks, “Where is mommy?” He has hung up a new shelf, basketball hoop, replaced the brakes on the car and cleaned up Sarah’s vomit this week when she was home with the stomach flu.

He hasn’t complained once about any of this and simply praises me ever more.  Tonight, he dropped the kids off at a local kids’ night out and realized he’d have to eat dinner by himself.  There it is again. The sinking pit of loneliness that creeps into your belly. But Jason didn’t complain.  Instead he sat in that restaurant and texted me something beautiful that I had to share with each of you:

“It was kinda neat, but for sure lonely. It makes you smile when you see all the families and friends enjoying their meals and knowing people like you are protecting them and not knowing what we may be going through for them to enjoy that meal.”